There's You

Someone Up There has the wryest humor. Never have I loathed myself more than the past few weeks. Desperate, destitute, desolate. Drowning. What a batch of defeat. 


Now, toss in a generous dose of despised, decried and defamed, then crown it off with a good sprinkle of disgust. Put the batch in a pressure cooker. And voila, a complete recipe for Disaster. 


Life rarely gives us what we want when we want it. Back pedal a few years, a career, name and money somehow can't compete with "a" significant other. What I'd give to have and hold the elusive. My life would be complete. So I thought, then. 


Now, when I have no job, no money and will very likely be forever etched in ignominy, there's you. I don't know if I should laugh or cry, but thank you for being here. Thank you for making me feel I mattered and thank you for giving me a reason to smile. 


There's you. 
No longer elusive but actually here. 
Hey, you.

Scent of X'mas



Pink Snapdragon



Guaging from the onslaught of X'mas catalogues stuffed half hazardly in the mailbox, the festive season has officially begun. 

I love the goodness of X'mas. People are more generous at this time, not only with gifts but in spirit as well. Guess it has to do with the expanse of goodness and well wishes at this time of the year.

I love the smell of X'mas, it's so snugly. It is said the memory of scent lingers, thereby associating us with different times and places. X'mas fills my memory with candles and potpourri scented with tartly sweet berries, spicy nutmegs, cinnamon, clementines, frankincense and evergreens.

I love the warmth of X'mas. Sipping warm apple cider by the fireplace, nibbling cranberry pies fresh from the oven, snuggling under throws, wiggling toes in thick terry socks, wrapping gifts and stuffing stockings.

Cozy and homey and good.

Pour moi, c'est Noel.

Some Advice



Gerber Daisies, love the art deco hue



Found this lovely bouquet on sale at the flower stall. Heck, my place desperately needed a pick me up after two months without a helper. Important lesson learnt - Never, ever, ever heed to advice you innately felt wrong. Ditching the helper was a bad move. I went nuts picking after the kids and myself. I was cranky and tired and the situation felt hopeless. Yes, it was that bad and it was hell.

I finally called my ex-helper. The day she came I fell ill with a pounding migraine. I was running on adrenalin the past two months, strained to the max. String loosened, the tiredness finally caught up.

It's a stupid decision made at a moment of weakness and I still berate myself for it.

What is right for everyone else does not mean it's right for you. Practice listening to yourself and backing your beliefs. Reiterating encore une fois - Never ever, ever heed to advice you feel wrong. Am I glad everything is back in sync. I have a life now.

Lip Balm

This lip balm is hand made with goodies like olive oil from Italy, Shea butter, pure honey and vitamin E. The ingredients are completely natural with no preservatives nor fragrance added. To top it all off, it really works.

A light application is all you need to feel its magic. The balm literally melts and moisturizes your lips, for hours. The texture is not oily nor gluey and a slightly thicker layer can last through the night. Lips feel pampered.

A must have for the drier and cooler weather.

You can find Nymph HK here.

Love Affair with Yorkies

Blessing after her first grooming session

Hong Kong Dog Rescue's charity event 2010
Adoption Saves Lives

Inquisitive Blessing at tenth week

I've always had a soft spot for Yorkies. Back in college, I had a Yorkie named Di Di, then there's Kobe and now Blessing.

I learnt about Blessing from an HKDR (Hong Kong Dog Rescue) newsfeed on facebook. Blessing, then Minka, was surrendered and in need of a foster over the long weekend. There was no photo nor details except that she was a senior. Somehow I sensed the urgency of the message and I contacted HKDR right away. After a couple back and forth emails and phone calls, I picked Blessing up at the vet that afternoon.

That was ten weeks ago. My foster turned into a permanent adoption and Minka was renamed Blessing. The vet gave Blessing a clean bill of health. As a 14-year old, she's mighty healthy. The pressing thing then was to get her weight and spirit up.

Well, she's passed with flying colors on both counts, gaining a whole pound and a half. She's also come out of her early wariness and shyness and shown herself to be a true Yorkie. I found the following on a Yorkie site and the description could not be more Blessing. 

"Yorkshire Terriers are lively and inquisitive, physically and mentally quick, and spend much time trotting or dashing around checking things out. Lovers of comfort, Yorkshire Terriers enjoy snuggling into soft pillows. Keen of eye and sharp of tongue, they won't fail to announce strangers, often in a high-pitched voice [incessant and loud as well]. They are bright and quick to learn, but are rather willful and opinionated [definitely the latter]. Housebreaking is notoriously difficult with Yorkies [tell me about it!!]."

Despite having have to clean up after yet another kid, and a messy one at that, I am truly happy to have adopted Blessing. Call it a love affair with Yorkies or serendipity.

Dayee's New Pad



Dayee's New Pad

I got Dayee a new perch last month. Can you believe her old pad is already a decade old? Yes, that's how long Dayee has been with me, 10 years!! Dayee has been wary of her new pad initially, navigating with tiny steps exploring the unfamiliar perch. She would lose her balance and sway back and forth to get her footing. Porky being a nuisance, would station his roundness at the foot waiting for Dayee to fall and chase her.

At first, I am worried Dayee might not like her new pad, but after a couple days, she is perfectly at ease. She is moving like a monkey, climbing around from one side to the other now. Oh, she likes swinging on the door and watch the view outside the window. As for Dayee's old pad, it's been put to good use.

There is an abandoned cockatoo at the vet clinic who has been chained to a tray for 30 odd years. The poor thing has plucked out her feathers because she is so bored. The chain is off now and she is enjoying the freedom of a much larger perch and her feathers are slowly growing back.

Can't ask for a more perfect scenario, Dayee likes her new pad and the poor cockatoo is flourishing in Dayee's old pad.



Kickstart

My ceramic clock

Can't believe it's June already. In retrospect, what have I accomplished the past six months? I have to hang my head and confess, "not much". I have this sinking feeling I am wasting my life away as I leaf through my files.

Wait, tucked between sheaves of paper are two Groupon vouchers for art classes due to expire end of the month. Okay, it's now or never.

I had my first ceramics class last week, we were to make ceramic clocks. I thought it would be just that one lesson but it turned out we had to go back the second lesson to color-glaze our clay moulds. I wasn't expecting much from a discount coupon, but I had one-on-one tutor, free material and loads of fun.

I left class feeling exuberant. Happy that I have learnt something new and actually making something and I love being a student. You just have to bring a sense of wonderment with you. I have a painting class coming up, oh and my second ceramics class. I hope this excitement would kick start the second half of the year with some much needed momentum!!

Tea Drinker

I have been a coffee drinker for the longest time. I envy those who wake up feeling sharp and alert, because I usually wake up feeling groggy and dull. Even the kids know better than to get in my way before my cuppa.

I didn't really notice the change till I unbag my grocery a couple days ago. Chamomile tea, Forest berry tea, Lipton tea. Tea, tea and tea? I looked at my ground coffee, it couldn't be the same one from last month. There it was, almost full, untouched. 

I was mighty surprised with my little discovery, I could actually function without coffee? Somehow, I have migrated from a coffee-drinker to a tea-drinker. I agree both are caffeinated drinks but the change is still a shock.

I made myself a cuppa today. For some unfathomable reason, it tasted sour. What I enjoy nowadays is breathing in the aroma of berries, vanilla and chamomile as I sip my tea. Imagine that, some change!!

Lovely Experience

 

I have been neglecting my skincare routine badly and the condition of my skin really shows, oily and dry at the same time. Burning the midnight oil just adds to the already sallow and dull complexion. What's worse, the creams I am using seem to aggravate the condition.

I chanced upon the L'Occitane store some weeks back, lured by the flowery and feminine display in the window. There were a lot of people in the store. Normally I would have left, if not for a very broad grin from a young trainee. She was very polite and patiently introduced the products to me. She wasn't pushy at all (which was rare) and I got everything I needed, a whitening serum, an anti-aging serum, an eye cream and a face cream.

I remarked on how brisk business was on a weekday and she said it's because a limited-edition plum blossom line they were carrying was nearing the end of its promotion period. She showed me the gift set, a nice cloth bag with a travel size bath gel and body lotion. It looked like I had to spend a lot more to get the plush set, so I was all prepared to decline on the offer.

To my surprise, she returned with just a lip gloss. She said I only had to get one product in the line to get the gift. I glanced over to the perfumes and lotions which were much more expensive, but she brought only one lip gloss. It had a light fragrance and shimmer, I got two. *wink*

When I walked out with my shopping bag, the trainee was already attending to another customer. She gave me a little wave and a big smile. I walked out, very happy with my purchase and the lovely shopping experience.

I have been using the products for some weeks now and the condition of my skin has markedly improved. I think it's a combination of my being more regiment with my routine and using the right products.  I hope when I next go to L'Occitane to replenish my creams the trainee would still be there.

New Project

I started writing for an academic site recently, with two papers submitted so far, one on a play and one on art history. Although I get to choose the topics to write on, completing a paper is harder than I thought. First is the short deadline, second is the amount of literature you have to read, research and digest before even writing the first line.

Despite this, I really enjoy the lightness and satisfaction pressing "send" after hours at the computer. Aside from knowing I have met the deadline, I get to savor the new knowledge I have gathered from my intensive research. I am pretty well versed on the play "Fences" by August Wilson and the art scene in New York in the early 50's.

It has really broadened my horizons. I think I have found my vocation, flex time, solitary work, reading and writing. Only thing I have to work at is time management and my tendency to procrastinate, creating undue pressure. It's going to be a challenge since my brain only kick start when a sense of urgency is detected. Bad habit.

I am looking forward to developing a regular schedule with this site and of course to the remuneration it brings!!
photo

Lovely Workspace

Nice desk I am an avid follower of "Design Sponge", a design blog comprised of talented designers sharing insights about their different passions. My personal favorites are "we like it wild", with all things about flowers and a "before and after" blog about re-designing used furniture. The desk above has undergone major transformation from a plain jane to this pretty thing. I can totally picture myself working at it! You can check out the blog and be inspired by the lovely ideas, too. photo

Freak Accident

I had a freak accident couple weeks ago. Well, I slipped on the bathroom floor and landed on my back. It was a nasty fall as is, but what's worse, the impact was on the same side (left) as when I was hit by a truck back in 2004. Images of being stuck on a hospital bed at once flooded my memory.

Being immobilized is my ultimate fear, be it out of sickness, accident and worse, restrained. I have had my taste of every kind. The helplessness is overwhelming and the feeling of being at the mercy of other people, devastating.

The most humiliating experience happened in 2005 when I was bound hand and feet, carried onto an ambulance, put in a padded room and tied to a bed. I was suspected of committing suicide (drum roll please). Since then, individuals who have put me in that predicament have fallen out one by one. I wouldn't say it's a conscious act, but in retrospect I have never forgiven them. I swear to myself I would never let anyone override my decision, ever.

It was with this conviction I lay on the floor weighing my options. I told myself as soon as I could move I would head straight to the doctor. The next day and weeks after, I had to ingest loads of painkillers and move about bent with the aid of an umbrella. It's infuriating not being able to move freely but I have never been so proud of myself. I have stuck to my belief and it's liberating.

As of this post, I am recovering and I have to thank all the gal pals who have stuck by me and my stubborn beliefs.

(photo)

Unbridgeable Chasm

I have always had a tense relationship with certain individuals. It has gone on for decades and in recent years it has turned uglier and become a blame game with no end in sight. Early fissures and cracks have widened into a chasm.

A recent event has planted both sides on opposite ends of a broken bridge. The differences are just irreconcilable and well the break, inevitable. The surprising thing is there isn't any tinge of sadness. Instead, the closure has brought a sense of relief. The struggle is thankfullyand finally over.

(photo credit)

Beaming Flowers

The weather has been real nice and comfy the past two days ranging from 17 to 22c. My mood has visibly kicked up a few notches, having been dampened by the rainy cold spell earlier on. Wet and cold, the worst combination ever.

Grasping the sunny day, Porky and I venture out. Perhaps it's me feeling bright and buoyant, everything around me simply look cheery and chipper. Stopping by the flower stall I make my way to vases of pale pink and green sweet peas.

Preferring muted pastel colors to bright primary colors I would have swooped up a bunch already but these yellow roses are simply irresistible on this gay day. Well, the yellow roses finally win. Now sitting prettily in the living room, they seem to be beaming every time I look.

Wise choice.

(The basket is from an Aveda hamper)

Moodscope

I have been trying out Moodscope for almost a week now. Skeptical at first, I am a complete convert. All of us can "feel" our moods but it's totally different to "see" the change. My week's mood fluctuations coincide with my monthly cycle of discomfort and specific triggers like people who unerringly stress me out.

It only takes minutes to do the test everyday and it's very satisfying to see I am pretty content as a person, that I should not make too much out of annoying people/events and instead pay more attention to my physical well being.

Thumbs up. Try it here.