White Rose Posy

Posy extras make a nice bouquet



Hydrangea, Roses and Musk Posy

Over the weekend, I made a posy for a pre-wedding shoot. The shooting had been cancelled three times due to bad weather. I touched base with the makeup artist this morning and she said although it rained in the afternoon, the shooting went as scheduled till night time. There were a couple of great shots in there as well.

I met with the couple, the bride at the studio before this fourth shooting attempt and the fiance when he picked up the posy. I could just imagine them giddy with happiness. All the crossed fingers worked.

I asked about the posy to see if it lasted the whole day outdoors. The bride and I had decided to use the sturdier white roses instead of peonies at the end, because it was just too hot for the peonies not to wither. The feedback? The posy was in most of the photos and the couple really liked it.

It felt so rewarding, not only because the posy was well received, but because of it, I could be part of the couple's happiness.

What is Love?

Recently while chatting with friends, I told them I had never loved anyone romantically. That realization just dawned on me one day. They were surprised. In truth I was dumbstruck. If it wasn't love, how come I felt so devastated whenever a relationship ended? Thinking back, they were more like infatuations and crushes.

When I asked my friends what love was and mentally ticking off what they said, all I knew without a doubt was that I loved Kobe and the kids. I had never "loved" a person. Even the one person whom I had an on and off relationship for a decade, and considered the "love" of my life, it still wasn't love.

In 1 Corinthians 13, it said,
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Okay, but I still could not grasp what love is. I know the feeling of falling in love, but I have never "seen" the person behind the feeling and love that person. Perhaps when the right person comes along I might know then, because I really want to know what is love.

photo: http://www.shootgardening.co.uk/uploaded/images/plant_ribes_laurifolium_1_80.jpg

Memories

~Those who have played a big part in one's life very rarely disappear from it suddenly for good. They return to it at odd moments (so much so that people suspect a renewal of old love) before leaving it together. ~ Marcel Proust

What brings people together? One theory is Fate, two people meet at the right place, at the right time. A lot of people pass us by, but what makes us stop in our tracks and notice that person?

Whatever the reason is, I have noticed that people re-surface again and again to give you answers to some unresolved questions about yourself, about that person, and about your relationship.

It's sad when a person who makes a mark in your life leaves. This, however is not the abyss. The abyss is loss, when that person or yourself has nothing more to give or receive and ultimately leaves forever. All that remains are snippets of memories. These memories are unique in the sense that the person might not remember them or have a different version of them.

My fondest memories of a birthday was receiving an overseas call around midnight, instead of a "hello", was singing "Happy Birthday". Another fond memory would be carefully taping cat hair from a suit jacket. My way of saying "thank you" and getting a real "thank you" in return.

These are minutiae things. It's really nothing to other people, but what made it so special were the genuine feelings. The "Happy Birthday" call would not be so cherished if not for the feelings transmitted through the phone line. The act of taping cat hair would not have as much significance if not for the grateful feelings.

I do not believe these feelings could be felt twice, even with the same person. Every encounter is special and unique. Although people tell me it's really nothing, I choose to be grateful. Afterall, we are not entitled.

photo: https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj2VPKjWinYGHGNZli5DYlLYxhqeAg8aPIZswooq2aLfKhvs3dxepG8xWzAyKBSUuKm764xijjagtmlPcysSmb1937cBCA90KQ6jxHFcAwdDoTqX-kxF3hfR2eA4ncNMN14pq8jSX3OFKMu/s320/2007_0914AutumnFlowerShow0106.JPG

Stereotypes

Stereotyping is such a cliche and so passe.

A good example would be people who think they are artistic could get away with being incredibly selfish, inconsiderate, rude and insolent, by justifying "creative people are that way".
Give me a break.

By buying into this stereotype, it's an abhorrence, bordering on a social illness to be artistic or creative.

I believe that the most creative people are the calmest people, almost zen like in spirit. They know that creative endeavour is a discipline and an ongoing, lifelong pursuit. Therefore they breathe it with grace, the true masters.

That cannot be said with the stereotypical "artists", because to justify their mediocrity, they have to play into the moody, brooding, not understood facade. To what purpose you might ask? Simply because they do not want to risk exposing the fact they are mediocre.

(photo: http://farm1.static.flickr.com/188/395226087_9002872142.jpg)

Perception

When a person is emotionally overcharged or overwhelmed, the best thing to do is take a step back. A therapist once told a patient to "take 3 deep breaths and call him in the morning".

I think that this is the cleverest concept expressed in the simplest way. It's all about perspective. At close range, things are always more urgent, a matter of life and death. When you take a few steps back, it's not that big a deal. When you look back in a couple days, you might not remember why it has bothered you so much.

I have taken to heart the phrase "this too, shall pass". I have begun to notice that telling someone something good has happened is considered bragging. Vice versa, telling somebody that something bad has happened is whining. The best line is "everything's okay".

A friend has told me to weigh what to say and to whom. She stresses the importance of targeting "the right person", meaning the person has to be completely on the same level as you are on that matter. If not, you would be either bragging or whining. Both extremely annoying. How true.

I am learning to say as little as possible about good fortune or bad luck. Never did it occur to me that sharing a piece of news would be bragging or whining. It's temporary anyway, for "this too, shall pass".

(photo: http://pinkbicyclette.files.wordpress.com/2009/05/5-8-08-peonies.jpg)

Projection

Some people have so much unresolved bitterness and resentment built up in their system, the only release is to project them onto someone else. This is one of the defence mechanisms you could find in any psychology 101 textbook.

When people ask me how I am these days, I would say that I am tired and exhausted. The reason none other than Merlyn has gone home to start a family. Well, well, it's a crime to be tired when you are in a transitional period, where you go from having help to take care of the house to doing it all by yourself.

The crime doesn't stop here, the descent to Dante's Inferno has just begun and the following accusations could prove that I belong in hell.

Remember I have committed an immortal sin when I have worked my ass off to get out of the rat race and finally be able to pursue my dreams. Bear in mind I am condemned to hell because the majority of the population are working to get by and I could lead a laid back lifestyle.

I am unforgivable because I am in control, balanced, at peace and basically I have a life. It's so unfair because I have the touch of Midas. Get real.

I am so happy that the kids are used to our new routine by now. They have always been good and disciplined. I do have to clean up after them, but they know what they should or shouldn't do. To unwary people, this is pure luck. Luck? The kids have been taught since babies to respect each other's space, food and toys. It took years to achieve this harmony.

I believe that if you respect others, people go out of their way to help you. As for my part time helps, Merlyn has lined up all her friends and relatives for me before she left. They all know that Merlyn is family to me and if one of them cannot make it, another one would show up. As for their fees, I only have to pay them 50% of the ongoing rate. On Sundays, I don't have to pay a cent. It's their agreement with Merlyn.

Am I blessed, lucky or have all the goodies fall into my lap? Do I have a Midas touch? I don't know. I only know that I have worked hard to achieve all this. As for being blessed. Well, eat your heart out, you betcha I am.

Taming the Kitchen

It's been a nine days since Merlyn has left for good. I have never felt so exhausted. The routine we have established in the house is completely upended.
The kids are confused and they really show it by behaving "naughtily", to put it mildly.

As if this is not enough, things have strangely started to fall apart. The coffeemaker's jug has cracked and the pout of the kettle has mysteriously melted!! I have always joked that Merlyn is the manager of the kitchen. Perhaps I am an unwelcome intruder, duh...

The transitional phase includes setting up a new routine, calming the kids, getting used to the chores around the house and most importantly taming the kitchen. I am lucky that I have part time help for a breather. What I really need is to get a wand and go to Hogwarts or Mrs. Weasley's to learn some spells. Hermoine, help!!!

The cracked jug has lasted two days without bursting, but I wouldn't push my luck the third time. I could not imagine myself getting through this phase without my two daily cups of strong coffee. I finally ventured out to get myself a new coffeemaker and kettle. In a strange but nice way, I feel that the kitchen is more "mine" after making my first cuppa in the new coffeemaker. The new whistle of the kettle is also more refreshing.

Yes, this is a new beginning. Amazingly, aside from feeling tired, I haven't felt out of control. I know that in the end, everything will be clockwork again for me and the kids. All we needed is some time to ease into our new life.