Grief

Couple days ago, I took Porky for a waddle to the supermarket. When we reached the door, I put him in his travelling bag, since dogs were not allowed inside. With my shopping list in hand, I walked up and down the aisles to pick up what I needed.

When I turned the corner, I bumped into a lady who used to work at my dad's company for almost 30 years. We started to chat and she pointed to a wiggling bag in the shopping cart and I told her it was my pig. I asked her how she was and tears started to well in her eyes. I knew I had asked the wrong question, again....

The lady joined another company nine years ago. This company was filled with familiar faces from my dad's extinct company and I always visited them at lunch time. Aside from the free meal, there were always funny stories about the old times.

Four years ago, I received a call from my aunt in the morning. She told me that this lady had flown to the States to see her daughter. Okay, but this did not warrant a call at 7am. My aunt then told me that the daughter had a car accident and was in surgery as we speak. She thought that I would like to know, since the lady was my mentor in a lot of ways.

Then the bad news came bit by bit. The daughter went skiing with a bunch of friends. She forgot something in the trunk and asked her friends to go ahead. When she reached the rear of the car and opened the trunk, a car nearby skidded. The driver had lost control of the car but finally managed to stop, trapping the daughter, sandwiched between two cars.

When the lady reached the hospital, her daughter was already gone. Her injuries were too extensive and the doctors could not stop the internal bleeding. The lady was devastated and in shock. How could this happen when her daughter was engaged to be married and only 27 years old? All this time, the lady berated herself and grieved.

She said she was still in a trance when she attended her daughter's funeral. The turnout was massive. The whole church was filled with people she didn't know. Not only was her daughter a Christian, she was also active in a lot of church activities and charity. She asked everyone, especially herself, "why had God taken such a good child away?"

I went to visit her after she came back. I could not believe my eyes, her black hair had turned pepper grey. Our greetings were truncated because she would choke up when she speak. I still visit at lunch time, but it's a hushed one now. Gone was the lively conversation. The lady would pick up her lunch box and take it to her room. The rest of us would sit in the pantry and eat in silence or with minimal conversation.

That day at the supermarket, she told me the most important thing was to be happy, because life was too short. She reminded me to live with as little regret as possible, because life was too unpredictable. She kept saying she would do anything to have her daughter back...

Her routine was to take a walk to the supermarket after dinner every evening. Life still had to go on. Her hair was almost white now.

photo
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