Writing

Each man must look to himself to teach him the meaning of life. It is not something discover; it is something moulded. ~ Antoine de Saint-Exupery

I experimented with a mixed bag of projects last year. There had been no shortage of ideas and parties who initially shared the enthusiasm, but soon diverged as our values clashed. After dismal attempts at partnership, I realize this is not my optimum work mode. In this muddled phase of everything is working but not working either, I have a major identity crisis. What am I doing?

I still believe in my pet projects but the one that manages to win out is writing. I have been writing weekly articles for a travel website. Since the deadlines are really tight I have to prioritize and adjust some facets of my daily schedule to meet them. However, the many abrupt changes recently have upended everything and I decide it's high time to take a sabbatical to reorganize and recharge. While reworking the schedule for the articles, the editor tells me he is leaving for Burma in mid-January and since there is little Internet access, he tells me to write on areas I haven't covered. The usual practice is getting a nod from him before proceeding with a new topic. With five articles and a month's work in my repertoire, he says he is confident and assured with whatever I come up with. Wow.

I think this is the biggest acknowledgement I have received in my life. I am finally doing what I love and getting recognized by a professional writer. It seems like a cloud has lifted and I can see my way. I don't have a muddled identity anymore. I write.

p.s. My professor has been right all along. It will be a long road with many twists and turns and there will be bouts of losing myself and doubting my sanity, but have faith.

(photo www.artsjournal.com)