Lovely Workspace

Nice desk I am an avid follower of "Design Sponge", a design blog comprised of talented designers sharing insights about their different passions. My personal favorites are "we like it wild", with all things about flowers and a "before and after" blog about re-designing used furniture. The desk above has undergone major transformation from a plain jane to this pretty thing. I can totally picture myself working at it! You can check out the blog and be inspired by the lovely ideas, too. photo

Freak Accident

I had a freak accident couple weeks ago. Well, I slipped on the bathroom floor and landed on my back. It was a nasty fall as is, but what's worse, the impact was on the same side (left) as when I was hit by a truck back in 2004. Images of being stuck on a hospital bed at once flooded my memory.

Being immobilized is my ultimate fear, be it out of sickness, accident and worse, restrained. I have had my taste of every kind. The helplessness is overwhelming and the feeling of being at the mercy of other people, devastating.

The most humiliating experience happened in 2005 when I was bound hand and feet, carried onto an ambulance, put in a padded room and tied to a bed. I was suspected of committing suicide (drum roll please). Since then, individuals who have put me in that predicament have fallen out one by one. I wouldn't say it's a conscious act, but in retrospect I have never forgiven them. I swear to myself I would never let anyone override my decision, ever.

It was with this conviction I lay on the floor weighing my options. I told myself as soon as I could move I would head straight to the doctor. The next day and weeks after, I had to ingest loads of painkillers and move about bent with the aid of an umbrella. It's infuriating not being able to move freely but I have never been so proud of myself. I have stuck to my belief and it's liberating.

As of this post, I am recovering and I have to thank all the gal pals who have stuck by me and my stubborn beliefs.

(photo)

Unbridgeable Chasm

I have always had a tense relationship with certain individuals. It has gone on for decades and in recent years it has turned uglier and become a blame game with no end in sight. Early fissures and cracks have widened into a chasm.

A recent event has planted both sides on opposite ends of a broken bridge. The differences are just irreconcilable and well the break, inevitable. The surprising thing is there isn't any tinge of sadness. Instead, the closure has brought a sense of relief. The struggle is thankfullyand finally over.

(photo credit)

Beaming Flowers

The weather has been real nice and comfy the past two days ranging from 17 to 22c. My mood has visibly kicked up a few notches, having been dampened by the rainy cold spell earlier on. Wet and cold, the worst combination ever.

Grasping the sunny day, Porky and I venture out. Perhaps it's me feeling bright and buoyant, everything around me simply look cheery and chipper. Stopping by the flower stall I make my way to vases of pale pink and green sweet peas.

Preferring muted pastel colors to bright primary colors I would have swooped up a bunch already but these yellow roses are simply irresistible on this gay day. Well, the yellow roses finally win. Now sitting prettily in the living room, they seem to be beaming every time I look.

Wise choice.

(The basket is from an Aveda hamper)

Moodscope

I have been trying out Moodscope for almost a week now. Skeptical at first, I am a complete convert. All of us can "feel" our moods but it's totally different to "see" the change. My week's mood fluctuations coincide with my monthly cycle of discomfort and specific triggers like people who unerringly stress me out.

It only takes minutes to do the test everyday and it's very satisfying to see I am pretty content as a person, that I should not make too much out of annoying people/events and instead pay more attention to my physical well being.

Thumbs up. Try it here.

Simply Being

What defines a person? Does work, title, address, spouse and money define a person? By deduction the person is reduced to the work, title, address, spouse and ultimately money they own. All things extrinsic measure by quantity and by having more.

What defines a person? Stand in front of the mirror and ask yourself with complete honesty. Are you all that you want to live up to be, kind, caring, loving, considerate, truthful, respectful? Everything intrinsic measures by quality and by reaching higher.

What defines you?

One Night

Flowers by Pastel b.

Leaning out the window one night I found a solitary star in the hazy sky. As I gaze upon it I was suddenly embraced with a warmth exclusive to fond memories. The lone star began its metamorphosis, star after star appeared until a celestial canopy canvassed the entire sky, evoking a distant place in my sea of memories, Cape Cod.

Memory can be moulded and sculpted; holding on to every detail is a burden. At some blessed point I decide to tread lighter. Some memories are special and will always be cherished but mere static should be jettisoned. As laps of waves take them further and further out, I feel cleansed with a clearer mind. What's left is a sense of benevolence and truly wonderful memories.

Be selective, choose to keep what and who's worth remembering, discard the flotsam.