Spring Cleaning

I used to love living in my apartment, in this neighborhood. Despite the rent hike back in March when the lease was renewed, I thought it was worth every dime. The neighborhood was like an extended family (or so I thought) until I started shrinking away from my usual haunts. I felt being watched, stalked to be more precise. It sounded a bit crazy but when you had to close the curtains in the bedroom for fear of someone telling you"Saw your cat on the window ledge but your curtains were drawn so I guess you're still sleeping." It literally made my skin crawl.

Then came the incident when the security guard let a whole bunch of people in and made a circus outside my door. Not only the management and the security guard did not apologize, they made some lame excuse to say they were worried about me. Huh? We weren't even on speaking terms. Give me a break.

To some people I might be making a big deal out of this incident but as a person who prized privacy, I felt violated. What happened the following months didn't start out as a plan, it just took its natural course. It finally brought on what I now knew was what I wanted subconsciously - move. After some legal proceedings I would vacate the premise.

I felt unperturbed and I deduced this zen calmness had to do with the mental spring cleaning over the past months and it had given me a much needed perspective on the bigger picture. It also pulled me back from the abyss of churning thoughts and emotions. I didn't know how resentful I had become and lurking under these misdirected thoughts and unresolved feelings, I was paralyzed with inaction.

As a friend had put it, perhaps it's a nudge from the universe to step out of my comfort zone and rethink where I wanted to live, where as in country, too. The world had suddenly become wider and full of possibilities.