Stereotypes

Stereotyping is such a cliche and so passe.

A good example would be people who think they are artistic could get away with being incredibly selfish, inconsiderate, rude and insolent, by justifying "creative people are that way".
Give me a break.

By buying into this stereotype, it's an abhorrence, bordering on a social illness to be artistic or creative.

I believe that the most creative people are the calmest people, almost zen like in spirit. They know that creative endeavour is a discipline and an ongoing, lifelong pursuit. Therefore they breathe it with grace, the true masters.

That cannot be said with the stereotypical "artists", because to justify their mediocrity, they have to play into the moody, brooding, not understood facade. To what purpose you might ask? Simply because they do not want to risk exposing the fact they are mediocre.

(photo: http://farm1.static.flickr.com/188/395226087_9002872142.jpg)

Perception

When a person is emotionally overcharged or overwhelmed, the best thing to do is take a step back. A therapist once told a patient to "take 3 deep breaths and call him in the morning".

I think that this is the cleverest concept expressed in the simplest way. It's all about perspective. At close range, things are always more urgent, a matter of life and death. When you take a few steps back, it's not that big a deal. When you look back in a couple days, you might not remember why it has bothered you so much.

I have taken to heart the phrase "this too, shall pass". I have begun to notice that telling someone something good has happened is considered bragging. Vice versa, telling somebody that something bad has happened is whining. The best line is "everything's okay".

A friend has told me to weigh what to say and to whom. She stresses the importance of targeting "the right person", meaning the person has to be completely on the same level as you are on that matter. If not, you would be either bragging or whining. Both extremely annoying. How true.

I am learning to say as little as possible about good fortune or bad luck. Never did it occur to me that sharing a piece of news would be bragging or whining. It's temporary anyway, for "this too, shall pass".

(photo: http://pinkbicyclette.files.wordpress.com/2009/05/5-8-08-peonies.jpg)

Projection

Some people have so much unresolved bitterness and resentment built up in their system, the only release is to project them onto someone else. This is one of the defence mechanisms you could find in any psychology 101 textbook.

When people ask me how I am these days, I would say that I am tired and exhausted. The reason none other than Merlyn has gone home to start a family. Well, well, it's a crime to be tired when you are in a transitional period, where you go from having help to take care of the house to doing it all by yourself.

The crime doesn't stop here, the descent to Dante's Inferno has just begun and the following accusations could prove that I belong in hell.

Remember I have committed an immortal sin when I have worked my ass off to get out of the rat race and finally be able to pursue my dreams. Bear in mind I am condemned to hell because the majority of the population are working to get by and I could lead a laid back lifestyle.

I am unforgivable because I am in control, balanced, at peace and basically I have a life. It's so unfair because I have the touch of Midas. Get real.

I am so happy that the kids are used to our new routine by now. They have always been good and disciplined. I do have to clean up after them, but they know what they should or shouldn't do. To unwary people, this is pure luck. Luck? The kids have been taught since babies to respect each other's space, food and toys. It took years to achieve this harmony.

I believe that if you respect others, people go out of their way to help you. As for my part time helps, Merlyn has lined up all her friends and relatives for me before she left. They all know that Merlyn is family to me and if one of them cannot make it, another one would show up. As for their fees, I only have to pay them 50% of the ongoing rate. On Sundays, I don't have to pay a cent. It's their agreement with Merlyn.

Am I blessed, lucky or have all the goodies fall into my lap? Do I have a Midas touch? I don't know. I only know that I have worked hard to achieve all this. As for being blessed. Well, eat your heart out, you betcha I am.

Taming the Kitchen

It's been a nine days since Merlyn has left for good. I have never felt so exhausted. The routine we have established in the house is completely upended.
The kids are confused and they really show it by behaving "naughtily", to put it mildly.

As if this is not enough, things have strangely started to fall apart. The coffeemaker's jug has cracked and the pout of the kettle has mysteriously melted!! I have always joked that Merlyn is the manager of the kitchen. Perhaps I am an unwelcome intruder, duh...

The transitional phase includes setting up a new routine, calming the kids, getting used to the chores around the house and most importantly taming the kitchen. I am lucky that I have part time help for a breather. What I really need is to get a wand and go to Hogwarts or Mrs. Weasley's to learn some spells. Hermoine, help!!!

The cracked jug has lasted two days without bursting, but I wouldn't push my luck the third time. I could not imagine myself getting through this phase without my two daily cups of strong coffee. I finally ventured out to get myself a new coffeemaker and kettle. In a strange but nice way, I feel that the kitchen is more "mine" after making my first cuppa in the new coffeemaker. The new whistle of the kettle is also more refreshing.

Yes, this is a new beginning. Amazingly, aside from feeling tired, I haven't felt out of control. I know that in the end, everything will be clockwork again for me and the kids. All we needed is some time to ease into our new life.

Silence

~It has been said silence is a strength, in quite a different sense it is a terrible strength in the hands who are loved. It increases the anxiety of the one who waits. Nothing so tempts us to approach another person as what is keeping us apart; and what barrier is so insurmountable as silence? But what an even greater torture than that of having to keep silence it is to have endure the silence of the person one loves.~

~Besides, more cruel than the silence of prisons, that kind of silence is in itself a prison. It is an intangible enclosure, true, but an impenetrable one. This interposed slice of empty atmosphere through which nevertheless the visual rays of the abandoned lover cannot pass.~

While reading the third tome of Proust's "A la Recherche du Temp Perdu", I came across this passage. I had complete resonance with every word, because I was the unaware prisoner a few years back. I had no clue as to what I had done or not done to deserve this treatment.

The reason is totally inconsequential now. Oh, but how I admire the depth of Proust's writing. Tears welled in my eyes when I read it. How could he know the torments of silence had he not felt it first? I believed he had seen it, heard it, smelled it, tasted it and touched it. Much more so, felt it. So have I.

A friend was right in saying that "not knowing" was the cruelest because you could not be rid of the questions surrounding "why". She was also right in saying that to just disappear, the person had to be heartless, selfish and cowardice. I used to disagree, but after reading what Proust described, silence was mental torture.

(Photo: www.sethearl.wordpress.com)
(~Excerpts: The Guermantes Way by Marcel Proust)

Drowning in Sorry

There is one word in a woman's span of dating life she will hear over and over again at least a million times. No surprises ladies. It's none other than the word "sorry". I have been hearing variations of this word so many times the past few months, I could literally drown in them.

The word "sorry" has a lot of nuances. I am an expert on it because I have heard ocean-deeps of them. Some of the "sorry" are truly genuine. You could hear it in the earnestness in the person's voice, text, mail. This type of sorry is rare though.

Most "sorry" are cover ups of the person's wanting to absolve any responsibility of not delivering what's promised, chickening out or simply, having nothing else to say. You could tell this type of "sorry" is fake because it comes out of the same people in the same situation every single time. It never fails like clock work.

I was talking to a girl friend recently and she said that if a person was so "sorry", why did he do it in the first place or repeatedly over the second, third or nth time. Undoubtedly, we were responsible for it happening the nth time because we were blind enough or more likely stupid enough to believe he will change.

We deduced that "sorry" had lost all of it's original meaning of "feeling or expressing sympathy, grief, or regret". It had evolved to become a word used casually to avoid exactly the above definition, that of "feeling or expressing sympathy, grief or regret."

It's rare to hear "sorry" between girl friends, at least amongst my girl friends. Most of us take promises to heart. I don't make promises lightly, because if I do, I deliver. It's the same with work and matters of the heart. Why do women rise to the top of the corporate ladder now? Simply because we deliver and we don't use "sorry" to cover up the lame duck excuses.

(photo : www.wallcoo.net)

Flower Class

Wrist Corsage on Glass Vase

Dome Rose Bouquet

Bridal Bouquet with Calla Lilies

I have been taking flower classes since May. The Dome Rose posy was by far the most difficult one because we had to visualize the whole process from a reversed angle.

The front of the posy, as seen, was actually the top from where we had to create the dome. All the while, we had to balance the three roses which hung vertically down.

First, we had to choose three rose buds, place at an angle in the foam, then wire to steady them. Next, we pick the biggest bloom and put it in the middle as our focal point. Actually, when we were making the posy, the rose was on top.

I totally blanked out the first few minutes, when the teacher said we had to measure the length of the other roses and foliage to make the posy into a perfect dome. I was so glad that after a few stems, I got the hang of it. Another challenge was that the foam break apart easily, so we had to be pretty accurate as to where to put the stems.

We ended up standing up and stooping down to see if the posy was rounded for two full hours. I was tired, but happy to have learnt yet another technique.