Comprehension

People on social networks update their statuses all the time, I am guilty of it, too. Mostly it would be about what we are doing, will be doing, something about nothing, something that will be forgotten as soon as the next update replaces the one before it.

Some updates are vague, but if you look closer there are layers of hidden meanings beneath them. These will stay with you for a long time because at the moment of comprehension, the writer and you have touched and connected.

One such is "the greatest distance on earth is not between continents...". Knowing the writer, the phrase translates to "the greatest distance is between two people". The sadness implied is impenetrable.

One is about the writer feeling like an alien, not understanding what earth people think. It is not a random status. Suffice to say the writer has discovered a fellow alien and one alien has felt the heaviness of the other through space.

People wished to be listened on an emotional level, to be comprehended. My wish is for more people to listen with their hearts. Remember Le petit prince?

Organic Forgiveness

How often we find ourselves turning our backs on our actual friends, that we might go and meet their ideal cousins. ~ Henry David Thoreau

Forgiveness is a subtle art that has huge benefits. One of the reasons it is not more widely practiced is that we don't preface our forgiveness with acceptance. Many well-intentioned people try to jump over their negative feelings to achieve forgiveness. Perhaps some people can seal off their negative feelings with a shift to forgiveness, but most of us find that unless we achieve an organic forgiveness, the negative feelings keep coming back.

The art of organic forgiveness rests on fully acknowledging your negative feelings for the person you're trying to forgive. When you can celebrate your anger or sadness about the person, you can often feel the blossoming of a more permanent form of forgiveness. the negative feelings you nay have about the other person usually recede and disappear only after they are fully acknowledged. (Excerpt from A Year of Living Consciously by Gay Hendricks)

I think this is the main reason why people who are estranged cannot wholly heal and bridge the chasm of bad feelings, the negativity is still in the system. We do have to fully acknowledge its existence and deal with it before the relationship can be redeemed.

(photo: www.123rf.com)

Either/Or

"...the rule of the human race...is that the reputedly hard are the weak whom nobody wanted, and that the strong, caring little whether they are wanted or not, have alone that gentleness which the vulgar herd mistakes for weakness." ~ Proust "Sodom and Gomorrah"

When I am presented with an either/or question, my answer is always an absolute "no". The choice might not be the most rational, but I hate being backed into a corner. Some of these either/or questions are passive-aggressive in nature anyway. It seems like the person asking is giving you a choice but in reality the questioner has made a presumption, "you wouldn't dare". Try me.

There are already too many stresses in daily life and even with the time and energy to spare, it's wise to choose the battles worth fighting for. Some you can simply let go, an either/or situation is exactly one to ignore.

Ken Watanabe

Ken Watanabe

The Last Samurai was on last weekend. I timed the chores beforehand so I could watch it (the fourth time) with the least amount of interference, well except for the commercials. It was no doubt very Hollywood, an epic tailored for Tom Cruise, by Tom Cruise but I thought it was a darn good movie. The first time I watched it was because Tom Cruise starred in it. After that, it's all Ken Watanabe. Without him, the movie would have lost most of its appeal.

Watanabe had this presence about him on screen that managed to eclipse everyone else. His piercing gaze spoke volumes of whatever emotion he was trying to convey, sadness, pain, pride. He was very convincing playing a samurai lord, with his height, 6'2" and biography of playing samurai on the small screen. I also read up on bushido afterwards to see if the movie did justice to it. Well, what was repeated again and again was that samurais followed a strict code of honor, were highly disciplined and literate and would rather commit seppuku rather than losing honor or being shamed. Lord Kasamoto was all that.

Critics wrote the movie glazed over the true history of the Meiji Restoration and glamorized the order of samurai, but I think it was less a historic rendition and more of a fiction focused on values, honor, truth, bravery and camaraderie. Kasamoto fought to the end and died with honor. The last shot of Watanabe before dying was the cherry blossom petals flowing in the wind, "perfect", his last word. This is what I think of Watanabe's portrayal of Kasamoto, perfect.

Gifting

I have been wondering lately, what is the difference between a gift and a handout? Both are essentially the same, something given to you, but why does one make you feel elated and the other leave you feel poorer than before? I think therein lies the intention. A gift is filled with all the blessings from the giver, filling the receiver with empowerment and hope. A handout is still a "gift" but filled with accusations of unworthiness, robbing the receiver of the last breath of dignity. What is a worse fate than death? Hopelessness; AND that is exactly what a handout does, it takes away the spirit of the receiver, so does Death.

(photo: www.esermon.com)

Quest for Truth

I didn't give them hell. I just tell them the truth and they think it is hell. ~ Harry S. Truman

I laughed right out coming across the above quote today. It precisely described the people I could not stand but had to socialize with, unfortunately. I believe the phrase "naked truth" was coined to describe the unease people felt when they were forced to emerge from the camouflage of piled on personas into the harsh light of truth.

A lot of people cannot handle truth. They would rather skirt around issues and go through the motions of everything is nice and dandy. With acquaintances it can be termed as being polite. With family and friends, it borders on the point of being ridiculous. I don't believe in white lies because they are still lies. Someday, the hypocrisy will catch up and the damage will be irreparable. To me, being nice is just lies in another guise.

Social decorum calls for politeness, but it does not equate with being fake and insincere. It demeans yourself and the person you are dealing with because you are assuming the person is stupid enough not to notice. After dissecting the word "assume" it simply means making an ass out of you and me.

To make relationships between people more genuine, seeking the truth should be high on the New Year's Resolution list. If sporting a fake Birkin makes you seem rich to the whole world, you still have a long way up from the bottom rung of the evolution ladder, that of being an ignorant fool.

(photo www.icanhascheezburger.com)